my diary.

its not even dawn.dont know why,but i have fallen a prey to believe in omen's and stars.and a shooting star whom i saw told me everything i needed to know.among many directions that were enforced upon me,it also told something quite unexpected:it sugggested never to fall in love if i already am in love(infact u cant).before it disappeared in a universe of its own,i could see a dazzling smile and a note saying,'see ya.'

its a common weakness i suffer from,the instinct of feeling embarrassed because of the nudiustertian moments of my life and then for a fraction of a fraction i do pine about the appurtenances i have failed to set store by.i should subvert.a sort of presentiment or rather prescience is always trying to indicate the impending walkaway's.even when i slip,its because of the heterogeneity between me and my own silhouette and therefore a precised flip-flop is imperative to stock me up and to help myself get rid of that miniscule but dangerous temperamental attitude still prevailing somewhere innards.

chennai,mumbai,hyderabad fascinates me and that is when i rise to the potential i hold and everyone holds.an eminent professsor from stockholm schol of economics asked me to name the most over-rated person in my view and less then in an instant i said mr. amitabh bachchan.he asked me to explain,later he agreed after understanding the frivolousness of the nature of work these entertainers do and how ineligible are they for the amount of rewards they walk away with.in the end,they are just entertainers and actually the most selfish people:if selfishness is a virtue of self consciousness and understanding how much you get for how little you do.

i am so sure and confident of dating and having sex with deepika padukone or malaika arora khan or anyone if i make it a point(but sorry,i am in love).the point is even beethoven and tan sen are not known as much as these street dancers are but the good thing is street dancers will always be known as street dancer and a beethoven as a beethoven.i intend to differentiate between an artist and an on sale puppet.none of my business,and i dont want to waste time either.

setting it to an end,i have a steadfast perspicacity about being nothing more than i would deserve and till i am,to keep trying and sticking to the person i want to be and on my own conditions.ofcourse,i cannot ever compromise for anything less than i should and neither would i ever fall to the wonders of money.in the end-we make it,not that it makes us.

the real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes,but in having a new vision.if someone insists i am the best,be it so because in the end it doesnt even matter.and most of them think he thinks he is a hero and be that so too because even that doesnt even matter.

in lieu of the black swan.

the black swan is a wonderful work gripping the interest all through the journey.in a very generous fashion,the writer keeps talking about anti-knowledge and after hurting every single principle of today,he humbly apologises.wow!

one very important aspecty of my life in these days of utter excitement has been an immense urge of quickly turning myself into an entrepreneur.i have the capital,am full of ideas and a lot of energy,all thats needed is a breakpoint where i could quickly shift from current scheme of things to the planned future i have in mind.as of now,i have to chose between a job and an mba and then a job.both the options are out of interest as far as my temparament to work is concerned.

more importantly,the basic ethical values i had suddenly seems to be transforming into a better approach,which might be little selfish,harsh and minutely wrong,but thats perfect for what i want to be.i learned it,i did that from an ex-girlfriend of mine.time to proceed.ciao.bye.

as i walk the lonely road,away from home i think that it is an obvious manifestation of the universe that brings me to this strange point of time where i find an obscure sense of humour pulsating through my nerves and gripping the feelings as if i was non-existent.falling back to the memories of past,it hurts badly.a guy and a girl have an equation of a typical wave kind where the dual nature of both has to be understood in an exact way to eventually result in a charismatic relationship.

someone asked me what is success to me,i was wordless,perhaps because the question was so complicated and i thought wow,what answer do i say.it would either take a whole volume of 1000 pages to describe how i think of that magical word or i could just say,its just abt being successful,look at shahrukh khan,bill gates,barack obama,warren buffet,countries like india,us..these are all what success is.may be,achieveing the dreams we make while we are awake,the plans we pile while being romantic,the charity we plan while feeling disgust at the grave social issues,all these when achieved would make anyone a success.

see ya.bye.:).

comeon,let it go !

i recall a woman once advising me not to be a womaniser..and then i can also remember this pretty woman inflicting on me the mistakes she did..i could absorb to an extent but later i knew that she had fallen in love with my alterego.as strange as i am and just opposite to the me in general,there is a consciousness of guilt i have about the mistakes that has happened.even when i have been literally out of my senses,i have always thought twice before doing things.i am proud of the steps that i took and the way i have come so far.its complicated,there are embarrassing momentsa but i am proud that i always could let it go.

i was listening to this richard marx song which i happened to hear from my sis's phone..i could retain a few lines which i simply loved and have been humming them for over a week now.

wherever you go

whatever you do
i will be right here

waiting for you ...

whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here

waiting for you.

ciao when i see u.

all of 22

like always,it doesnt feel very exciting to actually have reached another june 24th.this day has to be respected by me for the least,after all this was when god gifted me with a real life in a real world(as far as i know).i miss noone,i strongly feel that i have turned very self centred,far more than how i was just an year ago.i havent picked many calls,hated the birthday messages,i want a real year this time and i am going to strongly ignore everything fake.

as of my love,only a few persons actually belong to that word,the ones who never change and who will never change,dad and mom-i love you both and i promise i will make dad feel how he thinks i should be,distance he wants me to travel,heights he wants me to see at,and a good person he expects of me and mom,i just love you,as unconditionally as you love me.

chelsea,csk and cute.

this should start with me turning into a football club follower.oh yeah,even though i always had a big crush on the game and always felt like a footballer in those good old days but still never did i ever try to know what the best in this business are upto..and more importantly these guys would come up with discussions containing complete alien stuff.as it seemed to me..and in a coffee shop or a restaurant or any other regular hangout i would just nod my head on every single point and say "oh yeah..fuck man..that was great"..it is funny.but now things are changing because i am a chelsea fan.so,next time when the topic comes i m going to speak all about chelsea and support it with all i have mugged up in a last couple of days :P.few of the important faces and wonderful footballers the team has are frank lampard,anderson luis de souza popular as "deco",ashley cole,michael ballack,john terry,peter cech and many more loved by different people at different times.

this apart,may 22nd was my little cute sis's birthday.even though she was not very happy because of not so good performance in her 12th boards but still she remains the sweetest girl with the cutest dimples :).happy birthday cute.

something is wrong with this 20-20 mode of cricket.teams which were better are out and the ones noone expected are into the finals.yesterday,i really felt pity for the CSK  as they lost in a mach where they were supposed to win.but thats the nature of the game and as a follower of chennai i do feel little upset and i am left with hardly any interest to watch the finals.even then if i was asked to pick my tem out of the two,the deccan chargers and the royal challengers,i will go with the royals.first because,i m more close to bangalore than to hyderabad and also because i find them with relatively few supporters.go bangalore,go.

its a sunday and i have a few things to do.among others,the most important is to go out and have fun :).

election '09 : to,by and for the people,wow !

its better to start with the prominent losers.there was such a sense of relief as me and mom saw the results unfold itself.mom was so damn excited after knowing that both the wife and mother of pappu yadav(arguably a criminal) had lost from supaul and purnea respectively.ram vilas paswan suffered a shock defeat from hajipur,the seat which had returned him triumphant 7 times earlier.lalu prasad yadav lost from pataliputra but won from saran.the good news is he has got a taste of the contemporary era and i just hope he understands that bihar is up for change,change in the form of development and positive agendas.

i was in bangalore with mom,sis and few other people and i had this chance of celebrating the success of election.i was seriously overwhelmed by the results,both of my native state bihar and india as a whole.

i am more than pleased to see congress upsurging in such a crucial time,a time when india needs to be lead,we need a party to balance the principle of india as a secular state,to work in tandem with the beauty india holds,the respect to farmers,boost to entrepreneurship,dissemination of education and few more are among the facts that make congress an obvious choice if i had voted.i would certainly try to vote in the next elections,thats because when i thought about the contributions leadership can make i did feel that embarrassment of supporting and still not participating,of being foolish,dull and over-confident.

now that its all decided and the power of people proved,there are a certain grave concerns the leaders should immediately turn there heads to.the decisive electoral mandate is good for the aam admi,more so taking the battered economy in sight.next,manmohan singh should quickly react to the pak nuclear stock-pile.pakistan is a country of fools and they are always a threat,a small damage to our country is far more precious than the destruction of whole pakistan.u get the point,i hope.oh lord,leave the issue of external securities,this nation of maniacs are such a threat to the beauty of indian daily livelihood,it shall be an achievent forever if upa puts pakistan on its knees forever.that is a little dreamy,though.among certain other basic problems,anaerobic grow of naxalites is yet another matter of concern.the government in its last term has been wuite lazy about this serious pan-indian threat.the bottomline is.india has to emerge into the ranks of the most successful nations and at the same time we have to hold back the secular,socialist,democratic,republic-that india is.

@ me.

the morning spent sleeping and the noon spent sleeping and the evening spent sleeping and the night spent thinking.thinking is something that comes naturally to most people in this greatly evolving world.people tend to think depending on how things are going,in my case its a double headed situation.on one hand,life is quite cool and on the other nothing looks amusing.i have a strange sense of making my own life very complicated at times,now thats what thinking can cause.i think about things which shouldn't matter if you were a dude,but sadly i dont consider myself as one.i am a simple and a normal lad but am a fellow friend of some dudes and that leads me to think like - what the HELL ! i often end up smiling when i force myself to walk through the memories of people who love me beyond everything.there are some in everyone's life who always care,who always want you to be happy and u dont know but they wouldn't even blink in doing anything for you,even dying...responsibility that i hold is to never let any such people down.i am supposed to be performing rather than celebrating your victory.but i was the happiest to know that you had made it happen,only a few can achieve exactly what they want.

as of me,the best way to describe how i feel about you could be the fact that world defies love,love defies death,death defies defiance.

chennai is a mindscape.

i feel pretty good on knowing that the economic crisis has started to wrap up,i feel good because i had reasoned infront of many,many being educated men and women far much older than me,i had argued with a positive sense of perception that i can see april being the breakpoint.obviously,once the world economy ragains full fledged growth,india's recovery will be much faster and steeper than the rest of the world.and by the way,why is it that people always ignore the positive just because some eonomic news is negative.now as a matter of fact,what really makes me write now is a thought which struck my mind while having tea at 5 in the morning..

can development really be justified at the cost of our heritage..as a matter of fact,preserving our heritage is a significant step forward in developing our society,as opposed to developing a particular plot.yet some of india's top municipal authorities seem to think heritage gets in the way of development.to turn chennai into a city with smile,we need to go much beyond the fiscal framework.we,the people,want not just comfortable living and working conditions,but an enriching life in our leisure time,a surfeit of choices,night-life,day-life,options should be open all times.the attraction of a "great" city-new york,sydney,london,paris,san francisco and even new delhi lies in the fact that these choices exist.people dont have to adhere to particular regional languages or ancient customs,these cities are open to all and in everyway.

i would be glad to see chennai turning into he city which defines southern world,i say that,in full knowledge of the fact that this place has the potential-geographically(except climate) as well as economically,to be so.