Ditch toxic people

One of the most significant things you can control is association -- your choices of who you permit into your world, who you give time to or invest time with, and who you look to for ideas, information and education. The people around you rarely have a neutral effect. They either facilitate your accomplishment, they undermine it, or they sabotage it outright.

The first useful association tactic is the elimination of toxic people and saboteurs. It's not an easy thing to face facts about a friend, family member, long-time employee  or long-time vendor when they are, in some way, interfering with or disapproving of your accomplishment. It's important to face these facts and to act on them because the more time you spend with people who are unhelpful, unsupportive, disrespectful, envious, resentful, dysfunctional or outright damaging to you, the less value all your time has.

These people don’t just harm the minutes you and they are in the same place. Few people can so perfectly compartmentalize that they can lock every thought, assertion and act of a toxic person in a little mind box and without leakage into other mind boxes. Paraphrasing a Chinese proverb (I found in a fortune cookie), if you lie down with mongrel dogs, even for a short nap, you wake up with fleas -- and they ride with you wherever you go.

Ideas, beliefs, opinions and habits work just like that. Even if you're associating only occasionally or briefly with someone who is intellectually or emotionally toxic or someone who is feckless and inept, it’s enough time for the fleas to leap from them to you, burrow in and be carried away by you to subtly affect your performance and productivity. If your creativity or constructive thinking or work performance is thus diminished, so is the value of your time.

People who are detrimental for you to associate with are not necessarily of evil intent. They may all be “good people,” but that doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Good chocolate cake is not good for a diabetic. In fact, it’s poison. Associating with somebody who is always pushing it to you, saying “Just have a tiny piece” is just as suicidal as baking it for yourself.

There are lots of ways a person can be toxic and poisonous to you. I’ve had clients describe how recurring disputes with a particular employee were mentally exhausting but couldn’t be helped because otherwise, that person was a great asset. The “otherwise” is a big problem. Many small businesses wind up with a ruthlessly defensive key person who goes into murder mode anytime an attempt is made to add a second person but is “otherwise” terrific.

There's the “we tried that before” guy. If it were up to him, we’d light the place with candles because Edison would have been limited to one try. There’s the “constructive critic,” always making you feel inadequate or undeserving, in the guise of being a cautionary ally worrying over you stubbing a toe.

On the other hand, constructive association with creative, inspiring, encouraging people can do a great deal to bolster your performance, thus making your time more valuable. Each minute of your time is made more or less valuable by the condition of your mind, and it is constantly being conditioned by association.

The entrepreneur is particularly susceptible to gaining or losing power by association because he has so many diverse responsibilities and is often operating under pressure, duress and urgency. Playing this game in a compromised mental state, weakened or wounded by poor ideas and attitudes seeded into the mind by association, is extremely difficult. Playing it strengthened and empowered by rich ideas and attitudes seeded into the mind by association can make the difficult easy.

Simply put, you want to deliberately reduce and restrict the amount of your time left vulnerable to random thought or association, and deliberately, sharply reduce the amount of time given to association with people who won’t make any productive contribution and may do harm. Does that mean you can only spend time with people you are in complete philosophical agreement with? No. In fact, such isolationism can be dangerous. But it does mean you should avoid association with people who believe and promulgate beliefs diametrically opposed to “success orientation.”

You want to deliberately increase the amount of your time directed at chosen thinking and input, and constructive, productive association. You want to associate with strivers and achievers, with winners and champions. This is an uplifting force that translates into peak performance, which makes all your time more valuable.

Quintessential me

I keep trembling at the thought of an overlapping distress that often rises out of pretty much believable anxiety i am going through.Setting things right ,doing them fine and moving forward is essentially the lecture I hear out.See,I have made a choice and when I was doing it,I truly wanted to throw myself at the aisle and feel the heat of the dusty charcoal.There are different ways in which a life shapes up.Everyone can be successful I think and all of them in different ways.What drives me is not success at all,my perception of life is very subjective.Discussing that will infact make sense only when there is something substantial which it tells to the world.
Now,entrepreneurship to me is giving back a lot and lot to the world.I believe beyond Politics,beyond what an IAS could do in India for eg. and beyond other walks people take in life,this journey of building up an organisation can in a great way encompass all the dimensions one can think of.It is indeed very important for me to dream very big,I am a dreamer and I have no boundaries.I remember telling my girlfriend in college once that,you will see that India will rise above the west,people will earn better,live better and be much more proud.When she asked how will this happen and who will do it,& since she was very lovely and understanding,I thought she will understand this as well.I said to her then that I will contribute my part and try and make it happen.She didnt laugh and I think that was a moment my love just turned eternal for her.It was at the age of  20 or 21 I think.
Even before,I remember drawing a flow chart on one of the 2002 diaries dad gave me,had written very clearly what I wanted to do some 4-5 pages.Diary is lost sadly .But,I have all the memory of that diary being read by my sis one evening and she feeling great while reading it.She involved herself totally into it and asked bhaiya how!!what will be the name!!where will you go!!etc.etc.That day,I think I started respecting my younger sister a lot.I was 15 then.
So,its always been damn clear in my head and I have often seen the path take a shape when I do close all other doors viz-the worlds drama-polity-dismay-failure-crap-shit etc.The feeling of getting lost into that endless world of possibilities shakes me up,positively.At that moment,I am often aware of my capabilities.I think then,I should do it because I could do it.At most I could fail,and then probably still manage to make a livelihood and just live-which in any case I would have made and done had I choosen the typically correct walk to life.
This journey has begun.It has still not taken the peak though.Still searching for the escape velocity,and sometimes getting carried away by the menial possibilities of the punk culture of capitalist corporates.Paycheck-Promotion-Missile-Bomb,thats fine-but not for me.As I begun,I drew this thick line of difference in each and all.I stand by it and I am all tied up setting myself to differentiate my individuality as well.This difference if I can create it,I will owe to the few who mean a lot in my life.Even if I fail,I will still owe my life to them.

"Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." 

-- Miguel Angel Ruiz 

We three

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living."

-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

FinMaxCap

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chole-rice from the culinarian in making

today i would discuss cooking chhole.not the one that goes with bhature,havent thought of making that.it takes unbearable quantity of oil and mehnat to cook an average bhature.it gotta be spicy,a lot of spices mixed up etc...lets just eat those once in a spring...somewhere outdoors,with a pretty girl,a big fan of chhole bhature maybe......

coming to the recipe of chhole,that can be served with roti or rice.lets take a couple of potatoes.three onions.three tomatoes.and chhole.most important however is that,if you wanna eat chhole today,you would have to start preparing 12 hours before,atleast!! chhole has to be soaked in water for that much of duration or more before really getting set to eat a good,soft,tasty one.we would also need,a mix of spices.chhole masala/chana masala,half a tea spoon chilli powder,half a tea spoon dhania,half a tea spoon garam masala,jeera and turmeric.salt ofcourse.

assuming that,chhole has been soaked well in water,we begin cooking now.lets wash the chhole a little before putting it into the pressure cooker.now lets put chhole in the cooker.add water, 1.5 times of chhole.add a full spoon salt(add to taste).add a tea spoon of turmeric powder.if you wanna mix a couple of potatoes too,put them as well in the cooker,after properly washing and peeling off its skin.all set,everything in cooker,lets now turn on the furnace.

on full flame,let the first whistle blow.then,put the flame at little higher than the lowest,say slightly lesser than medium and let the cooker and flame go on for next 35 minutes(by watch).

after its done,take potato out of the cooker and cut them into 4 pieces each.now lets,put out kadahi on the furnace.pour 3 spoon of oil and heat it.oil heats pretty fast,you see many a times oils are used to heat other things :P (out of context)...yeah,so once oild is heated,put two pinch jeera in the oil.let it crack,say 5 seconds.put tejpatta in the oil.put lal mirch in the oil.and let them burst into pieces and crack themselves for say 10 seconds.then put the onion,you have kept ready(ofcourse,you must already have sliced the onions and tomatoes into small pieces in those 35 minutes,or else you are a lazy cook(hehe..lets not be conclusive,sorry)...so next up,fry the onion untill golden brown,fry on high flame.once golden brown,put in the tomatoes.fry for 10 seconds.add salt,1 spoon(add to taste).add ginger garlic paste,1.5 tea spoon.add a tea spoon chana masala/chhole masala.add half tea sppon each of lal mirch,dhania powder,garam masala(i added quarter of chicken masala too).all this done,fry it for 2 minutes on high flame.then pour half a cup of water and fry on medium flame for 6-8 minutes.transfer the chhole from the cooker to the kadahi(along with the yellowish water you must be seeing).mix everything in the kadahi well.add the potatoes too.add 1.5 spoon more of chhole masala/chana masala.add a teaspoon of salt.mix it again.all this was done on high flame.now,bring he flame back to medium and cover the kadahi.this goes on for 5 minutes and add a cup of water more.cover back the kadahi.let it cook itself over next ten minutes.dont sleep.keep remixing stuff every 2-3 minutes.now that 15 minutes have passed,remove the cover,check it out,taste the saltness etc.all perfect!!cool...
go ahead and add a cup of water more.next five minutes,let it get cooked on highest flame.once you see,its evaporating and the bubbles coming up as a result.turn the furnace off.chhole is basically ready.if you gonna eat yourself with your best buddy or girl friend.if you have guests,you could decorate it over with some properly washed dhania ka patta.its done.
this chhole is awesome with chawal.this chhole is also awesome with roti.this chhole is gonna be just awesome.........
god bless ya.love.....

Aloo dum..the awesome making

So guys hope you all stayed blessed al this while.sure,i do pray for all good people all times i pray.

i wanted to share the food i ate on the saturday bygone.i prepared it and the way it came out was very sumptuous.kinda in the league of 'u keep craving for more'..but how did i do it ? lolz..but it was actually very simple.stick to basics.so i followed instructions of my youngest sis,who in her idle time would have put together an email,must be terribly bored but after eating the aloo dum with rice,i thought wow,boredom can be so cool too.haha. what a sweet way to get rid of boredom..so since it was legen....wait for it...dary i would say,before making your own aloodum next time,give it a try...who knows,you could simply love the taste...

"see bhaiya today i made aloo dum. it was very nice. so i m sharing the recipe with u. ok.

take 6medium sized potatoes. ok. and boil them in a cooker. ok. then peel them. ok. then cut them into 4pieces each. u kno. vertically and then horizontally. ok. 

then, take just 1tablespoon oil in a kadhai. ok. heat the oil. ok. put 1pinch of zeera. ok. jeera phoot jayega then u dump those potatoes that u have cut in this oil. ok. on high flame just make sure tht the aloo becomes ekdam halka sa golden. add a pinch of salt. it should not take more than 3minutes. ok. then take all this aloo out in a bartan. ok.

now, take 2onions. ok. medium to large size. ok. chop it as finely as u can. ok. take 2 tamatars. ok. chop them finely too. ok.

now put 2tablespoon oil in that kadhaai only. ok. no need to wash the kadhaai. ok. put 1 sukhi laal mirch tht is broken into 2halves in it. ok. then add 1pinch of jeera. ok. then add the chopped onions and fry until golden on medium heat. then add 1tablespoon of ginger garlic paste and fry on medium heat for 2-3minutes. then add the chopped tomatoes. ok. then add 1small little spoon of jeera. them half spoon black pepper. then half spoon laal mirchi powder. and 1spoon turmeric. and then salt to taste. ok. then fry these on lowest flame for 7-8 min. ok.

 then dump those potatoes tht u kept aside in this masala, then add half cup water. mix them all. then on high flame let the water evaporate. ok. then add 1cup water. and as it starts to boil. just turn off the knob. ban gaya... :) "

P.S... Thanks cute !!

They can make a difference,the magical mentors...

One fine day,jump off the hook and fall in the deep river,gasp for breath there,struggle a little.Then..either die or bring your head up,sign up the moment.

I have seen leaders,I have seen guru's,corporates,the government.A roundabout exposure to more than what is required essentially.Hardly have a few mentored me.Well,possibly someone mentors only when you are deemed fit for it.In school,there was noone,therefore I had no clue,almost like a lost sheep,I kept changing my plans,my interests and even my dreams infact.I remember though,in the end,I had taken a decision on what I wanted,I had made a flow chart in my diary and had described the flow,it was implicit.My sister,Shagun,I must mention,had showed a grea deal of confidence when see saw that,she was 14 then.she had said,its awesome bhaiya,its nice...!!So that was my first mentor,right there,in my family.

But then what,I had no idea I thought.I went to do a B.Tech in Chemical Engg !! Wish,someone had held my fingers then and shown me the way.However,as time past,things eventually occurred.Four years were fine and I am thankful to each day of them.Those days,I used to think hard though,so hard that in the 4th semester,I thought I should rather go out and work somewhere,wherever possible.A US shift BPO,Aheads E Solutions hired me after I assured I wouldn't messup the work because of my college.So there,quite early,I learnt some stuff.Most people were unlike me,so I hardly bothered about them,except for the normal manners,Hi's..smile and Bye's,smile.One though,Alwin Jayaprathap,no idea where he is now,gave me some lessons.First Cocktail,Cosmopolitan,I had drank with him,on a roof top,in an exquisite restaurant at T.Nagar,Chennai.He was from Ooty and was a good looking man,intense and Fun loving.He used to hit on the same girl I used to like.Gave me sleepless 'mornings'.Anyways,thats a different story,he was a mentor too,because he rooted for me in meetings with his seniors,I was unaware.He made me know that,I am talented enough for that job I was doing.It was nice and heartening.However,since the college-job balance was getting heftier,I left soon after.He also,more importantly,had become my best friend.Really would love to see him,hear from him..

In my college otherwise,there was no mentor.

Now while I am working,I see some.Thats a great thing about working with a great organization..

No entrepreneur in the history appeals to me though,thats weird,I think sometimes.I often juggle up between Gates and Jobs..Buffett and Ambani.They are/were all amazing.But,there is a void,a figure of inspiration is missing...I have an ideal,pictorial one in my mind though..!!

P.S. Do read this,its a must-read  http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2012-04-13/news/31337678_1_chanda-kochhar-kv-kamath-icici

WHY to do this MBA!!

Dear friends,as I understand,making right decisions at right time is one of the most important things in your lives,and as you know,life matters a lot to us all,as should the decisions.
At this point of time,many of my friends would be wondering whether to or not to do the Manipal MBA offered by ICICI at the cost of 1L and a loan to fund the degree at an interest rate of 2.5 %.
Afetr a thorough groundwork,I have understood that this MBA is only going to be a right decision,with absolutely nothing wrong about it!!

How ?

I am listing few of the points I understand are worth noting before taking a decision ,

1. Firstly the extra edge it gives.
2. Time it saves(u dont hv to quit workin in this case)
3. Incase you are not aware,now-a-days all job openings,decent ones,have a clearly laid eligibility criteria..MBA with two years of work experience,indian banks,international banks,whatever.
4. Opportunities in International Banks will double or infact quadruple with the MBA(remember the extra edge).Without the MBA,you might get a job at the same salary,but only at a probability of .01 %, that too only through references(don't let luck decide your career).
5.Since the syllabus is in sync with the training we already have undergone,quantity of effort required would be little(varying person to person).
6.Cost of MBA varies from 5L in India to 1 Crore in other parts of world but this one is coming at a total cost of 1L (3.75 L+Interest-Inflation=<3L in case you quit before 5 years).
7. Those looking upto an IVY league MBA later in career(for eg. me) need not be disappointed because it is only gonna add value to the CV you will hold.Later,when selected,you will probably connect the dots and remember thisdecision and maybe,me too :P
8.Everywhere,corporate or academia,earning a degree while working full time is duly respected bcz it truly reflects the self-management capabiilities,multi-tasking abilities,perseverance and focus of an individual(doesn't matter if u don't think so abt urself,wht matters is wht they think.. :-) )
9.People thinkin abt salaries,let me reconfirm,someone with MBA earns around 6K-10K higher than the non-mba at delhi(varies with the rating you got)
10.payback period for this MBA is an year(including the bonus and excluding the salary before promotion),which is remarkably good and infact matches Harvard,LBS and INSEAD(I too blushed when i arrived at the figure)

Hope it did help you,atleast a little,in making a final call..hmmm and nevertheless,no sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is,but the world as it will be..

Ok guys,ciao later on updates about my cfa preparations and how the syllabus is.tc.god bless ya all....bye..... 

Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow. We must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision is clear only after our eyes are washed away with tears