of the 25th & the 29th.

does pakistan support no first use of nuclear weapon,that country is an absolutely insane place because of their people.early in morning,in the TOI,i noticed a pic where PAKISTANIS were holding a banner with the message,'use nuclear weapon'.thats what you call insane,isnt it.brainless,preternatural people forming a senseless nation.why dont we attack them,we,the india.not to mention,attack and capture.kill the so called bloody jehadis and welcome the rest like we always have done.its crazy i know but thats how it is.situation is critical and a bunch of mad men have their finger tip over a nuclear button.i wish i had studied nuclear engg with interest,might be if the enthu had been same as its now,an anti nuclear was possible.my heartiest best luck and loads of wishes to all working on anti nuclear weapon.
yesterday was christmas and as usual,celebrations were superb.these people,christians rock man,i mean,specifically on 25th's every year.we rock too,on deepawali.
29th is another special day.birthday of one of the best girls i have known,apparently though.but i believe i have never missed anything as much as i have thought of her.happy birthday angel.may god bless you.and may you get all you want.i wish i could wish you but i know i cant and i wont.
oh god,this is where blogging helps.the power to talk.at times,to talk to yourself.

G-spot

i hardly do have the guts to understand the global economy and its implications.g-spot is the epi-centre of global economy.having spent as many as thousand days of interest in the financial look all over,i actually feel blown away with the situation that has prevailed for more than half an year,almost.
g-spot is interesting,in both the cases-very much in the way it varies from woman to woman and much so in the current scenario,of turmoil and absolute economic collapse.if they could be correlated,they easily could be.a particular spot of impact,sensation,effect and action is what g-spot is,in women.so is it here,how i mean.the american trouble engulfed the world so viciously while the economists in europe,asia,india behaved like stupids.so much that indian gdp was expected to grow at 13%(approx) and this was formally announced hardly a couple of weeks before the crisis gripped and then later swallowed the indian market.what's the mistake and where is it ? one word could be- THE NEW YORK.mumbai,london,moscow,paris,tokyo stood wide eyed and the storm arrives,they blink and the damage is incurred.if i was a leader of any nation,this happening,would shame me-mostly because of the lack of insulation and a cabinet-cover.india gets used by america and takes pride in it,exception being the 123,that too,only arguably.

the number 1 dad

its my papa's (father's) birthday and i feel great.he is as dynamic,efficient and charismatic as ever.i wish god to give him and maa(mom) everything in their life.every joy.they both are the champions,together they make an epitome of togetherness as blue is to sky.i love them both more than my life.i believ so do my sisters,angel,and another angel.happy birthday papa.miss you so much.

thoughts..

a cloud of moral hobgoblins has already terrified me and sadly without much of reason,tilting itself towards a higher degree of anticipation,which ofcourse is more of a disquietude.now someone points out that the word i use most often is INDEED..haha..but it is not,in no way.domicile is something that always pulls me up,it could well be stretched upto a tune of saregamapa and thats why i behave like a jester and end it up with a sorry everyone apology.did anyone ever notice how actors stammer,bloody fools,except a few i categorise them all in that elite group of A class fools,of which i am not a member ofcourse.exceptions would be tom hanks,will smith,keri russell and few others(fav's of all who read this one) :).hei i am not a cipher,you bet a thousand pounds and you win,i promise.indeed,i am not.when i was born,on a tuesday in the afternoon i knew that this is my life.anyways,i never prayed with such tight hands,but i do today because i know somethings are important.oh forget it,its my life,boring as it seems to me,adventurous for others.i hope december remains as good as november.i hope NTU accepts the presentation.i hope CAT is belled nicely.i hope dad gets the happiest years of his life and infinity of them.i wish his birthday brings a billion cheers to him,anyways he is always cheerful.oh,he comes to mind and i underestimate everything else,and why should i not,he obviously is the best guy i have witnessed,speaking in terms of wholeness of life.chill.ciao soon.:).

16th nov

a lot of prehension,lot of.i just cannot say a word,my fingers are crossed,havent checked my answers and am too happy waiting and waiting..in the mean time,toefl date has arrived and thats why i fly.now,no tangential anecdotes at all,atleast not here,my most beloved friend and trustworthy too,the blogspot,is watching :-# (half happy and half mad).last thing i could try was to adduce with historic and silly arguments,excuses are such losers when affronted against men like bapu and the pitara,hahaha,lol.indeed,truth is i never tried understanding the dream's portent and monition.having been wait-listed on a flight is being exceptionally unlucky and here i am,an exception.there was a girl at a distance of 50 yards looking so damn cute that i still cannot forget her lips curving to a smile and the way she stomped the floor in disgust..while i was playing a silly game on my old fashioned phone,she was most of the times looking at the strangers and studying them,as if an agent of cia or a fbi.i was supposedly to be ensconced in the same premises till 5:30 a.m. yesterday.

anyways,bottomline is how was 16th november.this is one question coming back from everyone.even i dont know how it was.but as an answer it would look ridiculous,so i would say,just fine.all i am sure of is that i verbal section was easy,could logically arrive at probably the correct answers for a dozen of questions in quants.i was attempting DI in the last and had run short of time after attempting fourteen questions and a quarter of the fifteenth.anyways,right now what rocks me is the thrill of doing something i have never done before,never even thought of.anyways i dont care because its not at all something i would ever want to do a second time but still-being a rare chance and coming out of the blue,i respect it.it could may be find me a space in the news dailies.oh,thats why,i dont care.big deal.huh.

november-a testing month.

priya singh,sony and sgarika mukherji-all have one thing in common.they are all too innocent to admit the person they like despite the fact that this particular guy wants nothing more than friendship-sort of a hello and hi.he is not a greek god of love and neither a flirt by nature,its just a part of his destiny.now,having tried my best to concentrate on the event scheduled for november 16th,i do admit having worked a lot of sums and to have known about a thousand brand new english words(to me).this apart,exams have already started and number of subjects to be studied is eleven.thats not a big deal,more because i have made my mind to focus not on the semester exams but still do a bit enough so as to atleast secure something around decent.

another festival,very important for the people of the place i belong to,Chath,is coming.whole family is leaving for our village in bihar,except me.they would pray to the sun god like they have been doing for past six years or so.chath is the finale after a long festive season in october with durga puja,deepawali celebrated with great pomp and splendor.i would also pray from here,2000 miles away, for a happy life of everyone who loves me specially my dearest mom and dad.
quite often,i have thought of my past all these days and i feel life is good anyways.it mostly depends on how we take it.people tend to take you for granted only when you start loving them more than they can ever think.
today i had an exam,a lab and after knowing my marks in viva-voce was more than satisfied(18/20).didnt study much but questions were more from the concepts we were taught in the previous years.they say over all grade depends on this particular part of the exam called viva voce.so yeah,i do expect a top grade and positively so.a lot to come in near time.i am hoping for the best and keeping my fingers crossed.let's see.

happy diwali !

a festival which usually brought me on feets almost every time it came was not much of frolic this time.the day itself marks its importance even when it doesnt pass celebrated.a festival of lights,crackers,diyas,candles,fun and masti also brings with it harbinger of hope,wealth and what not(as it is believed).life all of a sudden has become so hectic that i didnt burn a single cracker :( this time around.good part is,i have made a note to celebrate it every next year with the highest level of energy.wishing you all a great time ahead.happy diwali.bye.

missing home :(

it was more of an odyssey,oh yeah it exactly was.ten days were no less than what at times a slow action complete year is,dramatic and full of action,all the days and almost all the nights,including almost everything ranging from travelling in a rickshaw to driving a suv.i miss the days which just passed by.i miss them terribly.the lunch of home and the walks in the evening,pampering my cute little sister almost every minute i was in home,spending jewel of time with dearest father and just about everything.its different here and right now it looks terribly sickening.being a die hard afficianado of my mom's cooking,i just cant digest a single bit here.it tastes so different.i just cannot regurgitate everything but in little,every moment has stayed captured in my eyes.i have hardly felt homesick in more than 12 years of my boarding life but today i miss them all so much.it has been a mere 2 hours or so here and it looks like a lost world.there are moments when love makes you weak and who would not feel alone after coming from a place where everyone,all of them give you a place of hero in their hearts.

in fine fettle

it's been a terrific terrific holiday,almost every minute.today was a day to splurge,i did and perhaps a bit too much but the best part is i had the passport to go zoom.having all girls by my side which included the smartest in the town including my dearest angel sis and walking in the best stores and feeling like a prince and going to the most talked restaurant and driving a luxury car and smiling every instant and hurrying back to home and attending to the arti of 8 p.m and looking absolutely stunning in a sky blue jeans and a prince charming pure white kurta and having a great time all through indeed makes you feel in a very fine fettle and indeed keeps you happy for moments much more than expected. ):)

holidays @ patna this DP.

this is perhaps after six years that i am witnessing this unmatched aura and celebration.durga puja rocks.the ten days of worship and the spirit of devotees is splendid.there are many who fast from the 1st till the 10th and many more who live on just fruits and sweet eatables,this custom is popular as NAVRATRA.followed by dandiya late in the evenings and bustling of crackers through the midnight adds to the already brilliant mise en scene.my own house seems to be basking in the exquisite charm of this time. it is nowhere else that people could ever have so much energy and respect for the tradition being followed hitherto years.we shout in the evening at the time of "arti" as loud as we can - "jai mata di".standing in the crowd of more than a thousand and being a part of such an auspicious occasion would definitely make anyone feel blessed and make believe in that unknown omnipotent-present-scient power called GOD.there is this truth that anyone can try to pretend being profane but actually noone can be.i feel blessed.i am enjoying and feel happy,relieved,satisfied like never before.

wow..i had a lovely day.

just because of the three or four louts behind us in the movie theatre who were ofcourse loud and obnoxious, how fair would it be of me to move along with my friend for an anothe seat.i wandered away,disconcerted by this sudden sense of having been cut short,frozen in mid-flow.actually all this arises a frisson of terror in my mind.she gave me a long slow look,as if she were deciding something,and then she allowed herself to blush,the colour suffusing her throat in a delicious mottle of pink and white.the tone isn't always matched,unfortunately,by that of the performances,which can veer toward kitsch and cuteness.i was probably beginning to catch a glimpse of her eponymous character,just like her name which means the most beautiful.i knew it will remain as one of the most auspicious days spent in chennai whenever i would think of my time here.i tried to carry myself with pride,as though,forsooth,i felt i had achieved a moment ,both praiseworthy and meritorious.it didn't seem to matter,what if the hall replete with faces,all staring at us was already going nuts.i decided to disengage her from the hold of my fingers and this is perhaps where i went wrong.at this moment,this blog is giving permanence to the evanescent thought of a prized moment and i am certain i will smile everytime i read it.wind and sea may displace the ship's centre of gravity to three different orthogonal axis but even the torrid environment and the fracas of restless people couldn't deter me from doing what i did.it was one of the better moments of my life.ecstatic,felicitous,exultant-radiant,ravishing,rapturous-gladsome,tickled,delighted-oh it is so very special.just today i realised a fact,infact a number of truths.for every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.for every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it.for every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.love of beauty might be a taste and creation of beauty an art but when you love someone and call it beautiful,its perfection,both art and taste come together.when i look it more closely,i find an answer-people are very complicated,everyone is.it feels great to make someone feel beautiful and the joy is immense if the reflections are even more pretty.

to forget forever..

some things are so strange.i remember an interview years ago,at 13, after being shortlisted in the second round of a national science olympiad.having answered most of it pretty decently was actually expecting a pat on the childish shoulders,and just when i thought it was over someone out of those three or four antique interviewers asked about my strength.i perhaps had only an option-of blabbering anything i wanted to,and before i knew i had already retorted indicating the nonsensical meaning of it to a std eight lad.beyond the gestures and the frowns,i was menially uttering in a very low pitch-"dad and mom".and the question came again-"whats your strength ? confidence,self belief,consistency,hard work and blessings of mom and dad." strange moments of life.
i wish tomorrow,in the better times i am asked the same,surely i would copy-paste what i had hesitantly muttered eight and a half years ago.life has taken turns,so many that at times i tend to forget what i was.now,am running a fever of around 102-the whole body is in ache,and voice is so down that at times i myself cant hear a hello i try to say on phone.

this part of my life can be reckoned to be the worst,the whole year.may be few would argue with a strong no but i know the truth and only i understand how i know it.there are perhaps few chapters in everyone's life which is better forgotten forever.i would like to forget too,the worst moments of my life and for sure forget them for ever.

serendipity.

a few lines beneath were jotted on a paper while i thought of my past late in the night. it was morning by then and i could still not know that sun has come.

in the midst of a white sky,
when i looked beyond my window,
i felt amazed,i closed my eyes,it made me smile,
i was certain , i should not cry.

a serndipity that hovers around
for the sake of my destiny profound.
into the hollow-way and towards my spinning head
lies a mystery of life which would never be dead.

terrible terrible day

its strange to feel lonely when you get used to it.i miss everyone today as i delve down to search for those whom i might have forgotten.a faint impression of their faces makes me desperate.an eventful day is somewhat abnormal for an always preoccupied person.while climbing the stairs to the top floor just for the sake of being alone after ignoring the elevator because of so many known faces who uselessly keep asking how are you every day while passing by.may be today i want to be originally myself,far from pretending and trying to make others feel comfortable.my most lovely mom must be feeling deserted,she and the youngest of our family are the only in house.just today,one of us has already left for london to beckon the zenith up against.being how she is taks guts,out of league,dynamic and sensational.a leader in the making.and an immense strength to keep herself motivated at becoming the prime minister knowing the giant nature of her dream.inspirational.i feel deserted too,though am already miles away.having never been to the most expensive city in the world,called london,i dont know why i feel it was waiting for this lovely gift of god to reach there.i am so sure about the way she is going to make the city her own till she would want to.supposed to come back in an year makes me miss her like never before.it looks more like a miss day,i think of others and i get sad on knowing everyone who is mine or who was is so far away,some in distance of miles and some separated by circumstances.loneliness has actually been an insignia of my character,from a boardibng school at an age of 9 till today this has been one of the things which makes me strong and at times miserably week.life is a kind of tune perhaps which goes on and varies the way we want it to,like a guitar or a song.tunes are melancholy as well as magical.actually life is everything till it is lovely.and today it is not,atleast not for me.not to mention,of all today,most shocking has been knowing about the global stock markets declining like a collapsing skyscraoer.the crisis in lehman brothers had to have an impact,i knew it perhaps a week back from the news as they were coming but this was unexpected.anyways am just noy in the mood of talking economics but surely the international arena is working on it.it will pass by and people would forget it.thats how it is.thats how ypu gamble.thats how it feels when you are unable to predict.stay blessed.

on a personal note..

while lying on the floor early in the morning and completely lost in the story by an amateur i wish i had known a definitive approach to estimate the worth of it.an instant later the idea of love and its alliance emotions compelled me to think of a pretty girl.she had for few moments become the meaning of my life.that was when we broke up.today,she stands vindicated and i at times take it as a prelude to the insipid flavours that were to come.then comes a story springing in chennai,a city i hated in my first rendezvous with it,now i love the place.not being juvenile and profane are the two most important lessons chennai has taught me.and yeah,never expect from anyone is the other one.living my life from my heart and sharing it to others gives me the only pain i have.my father unfeathered the fear of not achieving anything when he was young and dynamic,he indeed has been the best administrator i have ever seen,at times he inspires me.and what i have learnt is that in order to achieve success one does not always need someone's hand,at times a pointed finger augurs well.we can choose each day, to reside in a world of reality or to reside in a world of miracles. the choice is always ours. the result from our choice always shows. always.ideal is the beacon.without ideal, there is no secure direction; without direction, there is no life.to me,chances have always come by and i feel poud today that i have a dream which would look like a miracle once fulfilled.this is in simple one side of the stoy of a very complicated human being,suyash.i would rather say to others,when chances come calling, take a look at them and select the best so as not to fall into the antics of evils. stay blessed.

ethics and melodrama.

ethics i thought was more than just being a part of philosophy.if there was one word to distinguish betwen a good and an evil,it could well be ethics.not withstanding the high pressure the world of business is undergoing ever since the first dawn of this millenium and the doldrums already springing from nasdaq till the bombay stock exchange is indeed a very important backwash to grasp the gravity of situation.nbow here we go,why does someone have to debate with me when i fabvour that ethics should be inevitable to a normal human,he being a business tycoon,a spearhead politician or an indispensable personality plus.just for the sake of succeeding noone can forget the sole meaning of success.its was never just about defeating people,accelerating head over the other or earning profit and it would never be.from a general point of view,it is about making your dreams come true,instilling a sense of satisfaction in the core of your hearts and finally contributing to others happiness and utilities in order to gain the same for yourself.
i would rather discontinue it,philosophy and me make a deadly combo and time is running short as well,got to go and preside over a brief bash,lol.finally is not the ethics becoming melodramatic.ironically,it is.realistically,it is.and very truly,it indeed is.what my view has been is obviously antonymic to the sense of a numerous gentlemen but i believe i got a point which i would may be highlight explicitly once i have enough time to become an author of a book.
now how disgusting would it be to not think about my dearest dad when i have a slightest of celebration to make.my dearest mom and the lovely sisters always make me miss them.its early in the night,ten pm and i start playing guitar while this sharma comes over to ask for a cup of coffee.i have always tries to be a sentient guy with these females but there are thoughts which bring a shudder till my jaws.thats a sad old story and an unfortunate one.for the moment its time to celebrate a brand new car which makes the road turnaround to make a way.my heart is pure and my life is brilliant.

out of sleep.

it is so embarrassing.few hours befoe when i am deep lost in the sweetest of day-dreams and the ring of my phone leads to a serious disturbance with its shakes and yell.all i do is have a look at the first letter of the callers name and say yeah hello and why do you have to call when am dreaming so well.now p stands for papa and also for priya,payal,puja,pragya ... i expect the later.an illusion.then follows,oh papa,trying to use all the sophistries my soporific brain could afford,how are you,i am sorry actually was having some sleep- i didnt think you would call,how is it there,do you have any idea about the match score and i kept blabbering almost for a minute.and then i realsie once again how much i love him.if there would be one thing which could have an effect on me is he.an inspiration to prove,to become,to lead,to win,to change.his thoughts are so exactly correct always.he is the best when he attempts at being friendly and i feel the laughter stabbing my stomach.if i could define love,it would be he and i share,mom and me have,what my sisters have for me.still,i dont believe in love and i would never i believe.

making a sense is posible.

a faint memory shivers me when its cold in night.dreams take me to the other side and i get struck in the only moment i felt defeated in my life till now.i believe i should not cry and would never.when storm comes i feel a sense of symmetry around me and i hate the eclipses.i like the soaring waves and the autumn leaves only because they are a part of nature.if i had a chance to ride in the space i will go to pluto and shout back for an answer from the god,who i believe in.this is a hive of thoughts which leaves me filled with a pack of questions.all unanswered.falling in love is not true because i have started to believe in this changed world that truth is a gone story.love a girl and you stand at the threshold of becoming a foolish devdas,too foolish indeed.the rule of life should be to be selfish,and who doesnt break the rules.funny.even i did.i am a happy person with tremendous belief in the nature and the power of brain.being contemporary is as antagonistic to succeeding as is a poem to a demon.still i feel proud in not being what i was never meant to be.the serendipity is ahead and i am waiting for you.bryan adams says,here i am,this is me and nowhere else on earth would it rather be.