dec 7th and hence,

people who know me could have easily calculated my chances of taking CAT on dec 7th,rightly so,which later,moments after registering for cat seemed an oikotropic one,a brash one.preferably,i could have written cat on 5th or 6th and had been with dad on his birthday,dec the 7th.its been okay anyways and the day was great,albeit a little frenzied(onus to the travelling that day).my dad,the dad,is a guy who brings back that utter sense of living everytime we,the family,which is quite rare,are together.guys like amitabh bachchan and etc's go overrated because there are people in this same world who know things they dont,who decide every action with vision,who give up an unnecessary future hype,all on the grounds of  a sound knowledge that it could bring unnecessary perturbation in the tomorrow .most importantly,they,guys like dad,know that life is one,love is its essence,whom to love,where to share time,and what to live for-all,so decidedly,so indubitably,so manifestly.genius is an art,thoughts are its reflection.oh father,i just love you,words will always fall short.
CAT(the billi) was kewlll..cool man ;) .. a guy came and sat beside me,i dont remember knowing him ever,said a hi..awww..i started thinking,winked at him..but the way he gestured was like he knew me...but man,i dont forget things so simply,especially people..am sorry and sad about being rude and little selfish,if u really knew me,and if u ever read this one.i was reading the instructions for whole 15 minutes of time i got,i was reading it again and again,to get used to that knack of reading fast,but who understands that..the woman superviser passed me 10 times in those 15 mins making weird faces and the only time i caught with her stare..i clearly noticed that she meant to say..'are you mad'..lol :).but trust me,it was worth it,carrying that speed into the comprehension was soothing.attempted 3 comprehensions,wow.am so satisfied.altogether verbal,my achilles hill,was nice.rearranging paragraphs and completing the paragraphs were things i always loved and that was all i got.2 rearrangements and 2 completions.9 q's from comprehension.1 grammatical correction.1 word usage.1 vocabulary.1 word-relation.so 17 in verbal.thats good and from cat point of view,weird..isnt it!!
in quants,i had hiccups.why so?because i had no idea that questions were going to be easy and no belief either,but they were.i kept on thinking..whats fishy man!didnt look at the options wherever possible,and solved the q's till the end.it ate time but i was relieved and confident.did 15.hopefully,all correct.
in DI ,which i attempted in the last,certainly i had to run short of time,as a rule.missed q no's 59 and 60,which on a mere look,looked quite easy,data sufficiency ones.awwwwww.anyways,it was okay too.solved 3 caselets,pure calculation..total 16 attempts.dont know,if silly mistakes have been made yet again,but i tried my best not to.
YES,I am expecting calls.it was good.and as of my self-analysis of cat, 'sanguine' is the word.

tweets,nov 25.

kal ho naa ho,swades,chak de india are my favs..bcz of those movies..shahrukh khan is my fav..different roles.amazing screen presence&acting
amitabh bachchan is so much over-rated..i can see the mysteries of his life in his eyes..abundant unsatisfaction..in shahrukh,i see pride.
shahrukh khan carved his way up in a heroic pattern..married his love...helps evry1 he loves..nthng fake abt him..bold and sensational.wow.
amitabh bachchan is diplomatic.he is a guy who probably knew to use people..he knows to manifest resources..he acts fine..but a legend,no.
as a role model,anyday,i will pick shahrukh khan over amitabh bachchan.as an actor too.as a man too.as an indian too.

  

then,amitabh & shahrukh will stay forever..but what about me..how many know me..100..or 1000..at most 10000.y the fcku m i being a critic.
sorry amitabh.for now,i better shut up.

met a girl,thought she was grand..fell in love,found out first-hand...went well for a week or two....then it all came unglued.
in a trapp,trip i can't grip..never thought i'd be the one who would slip...then i started to realize....i was living one big lie.
She fucking hates me..trust
she fucking hates me..love
I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none and ripped them away

She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
she took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no..

that’s my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it’s over and i’m glad
’cause i’m a fool for all i’ve said.she fucking hates me.

someone has transformed from a cute,bubbly,hay wire,young gal to a much more philosophical,matured,oriented woman.just yesterday when i saw her,she was playing with guys,laughing at all,naughty to the core and today,it looks like a magic,she has become partly spiritual,partly modern,her fashion has gone alternative,she has finished a hundred novels and she knows what love is.its so heartening to feel happiness in her nerves.look at this,things she cant live without are clothing,shelter,family,love and money,she is good at chess and she hates music.cheats and deceits turn her off,intelligence and public display of affection makes her warm.she is a mirror cracking material as far as looks are concerned and she can do anything in the world for her beautiful mom.she understands the various manifestations that life brings and she goes on to describe life as a beautiful gift.she admires shahrukh khan and madhuri dixit and the guy of her dreams has got to be shahrukh types(successful,romantic and intelligent).
what a change.and what a feeling of happiness,not because i loved her but because of the glitter that i see,flash of a thousand emeralds could sigh away and the beauty of all oceans could dwarf..

aim of the month : floating the business idea on a small scale,in the locations where the profit expected nears 0.if it gives even 5,that would mean a 10000 from the strong ones.
projected profit ratio :
weakest market            1
----------------    =  --------
strongest market         2000

p.s. i have developed a strange crush on sushmita sen.i will never not marry her because she is old or that she has a daughter.infact,this is the crush all about.

Economics Of Selecting Alternatives.

Overnight I have been reading The Black Swan and a little about the economics of selecting alternatives.Habitually,am used to making a notes of whatever i read,ever since my mom taught me this.This is my 1st time of using blogger over a note-book,doesnt look much different except for the writing and typing actions.Hey,the keytabs dont actually support many of the mathematical symbols which could be used while representing the important expressions related with this subject,afterall humans are the best machines ;) .I have tried to use only the most important ones.
Firstly,The Present Worth Method :
This method evaluates the desirability of an alternative method relative to some base point in the present time(usually year 0).Basically,it looks at the present equivalent of all the cash flows of an alternative study period. 
        An alternative is profitable only if its present-worth(PW)>=0.When choosing from a set of alternatives,the most desirable alternative is the one which has the most positive PW.
To find PW as a function of i % (per interest period) of a series of cash inflows and outflows,it is necessary to discount future amounts to the present by using the interest rate over the appropriate study period(years,for ex) in the following manner :
PW(i%) = F0(1+i)^0 + F1(1+i)^-1 + F2(1+i)^-2 + .... + Fk(1+i)^-k + ... + Fn(1+i)^-n
              = summation(i=0 to i=n) Fi(1+i)^-k
where,
i = effective interest rate or MARR,per compounding period.
k=index for each compounding period.
Fk=future cash flows at the end of period k.
N=number of compounding periods over the total planning time.

to be contd...

haha,what do u say when u feel like hanging up on a call u dont want to be on..call u later,right...
same way,this topic bores me and there is gonna be no furtherance on this .. :)
(nov 15th,09)

november,oh the sweet november.

it has been a beautiful november.beautiful weather,beautiful people,and good times.in a city like chennai,where the sun glows at 35 centigrades all round the year,this month always brings cheers and chirps all through.it has been raining incessantly,the feeling has transformed from the previous 'do ur work and get back asap' to that of 'talking,having more cups of tea and coffee,flirting,laughing'.as far as i am concerned,i feel overwhelmingly relaxed,raring to go,the feeling of freedom...the feeling of flying..roobaroo roshni..hui subah..main jal gaya...suraj ko main nigal gaya... :)

rain
rain, rain, rain heal my heart that is broken apart
rain, rain, rain up above from the skies
rain, rain, rain pour here and clean my soul
rain, rain, rain there will be rain here, there will be rain there
rain, rain, rain wash away my pain
rain, rain, rain wash away my debts to pay
rain, rain, rain so tired it feels wash away my guilt
rain, rain,rain i will do anything for you to cover my tears of shame..

rain cant tell a lie-rain can be louder than a fly,rain cant be nice(person wise)-rain can make ice,rain cant bleed-rain can make a seed,rain cant draw a toon-rain can make a tune,rain cant be a loon-rain can make a monsoon..here comes the rain..oh look,its spring !!

now isnt that wonderful..happiness zooming into the soul. :)

(dream X plan) / laziness = success

i have got a tower of books lined by the corner of my bed,a couple of cartoons filled with a range of papers,pants and shirts thrown here and there awaiting laundry wale bhaiya(he has been unexpectedly late this time) and a number of diaries,notebooks mostly used for noting the complicated statistics and some complex debatable theories.
the books i have been aroud with are listed below..
-6 sigma by William Truscott
-virtually stat free six sigma by Praveen Gupta and Arvin Sri
-how to turn advertising expenses into investments by john philip jones
-making breakthrough innovation happen(how 11 indians pulled off the impossible) by porus munshi
-and,a novel to lend me a calm sleep in nights..the alchemy of desire by tarun j tejpal.
these apart,its been so long since played some sports,day goes by thinking,planning,working,surfing,reading,eating and sleeping.sometimes i feel strange about being so different from me.
anyways,here is something,simple but consequential and factorial :
(dream X plan) / laziness = failure but later,when pointed by a friend,i found a blunder in that.if laziness would increase,failure would decrease which is so wrong.
hence,the correction
(dream X plan) / laziness = success.
success would increase if laziness would decrease and vice-versa.

ZZzzz.....

i have no idea what to blabber.nothing is going too good.what stays in my mind is, "to keep the momentum going,no matter what the situation is",and that inspires me a lot.i will owe it to mr edsley,one who said that to me,a person i talked to for not more than 100 words on phone and some 100 words through mail.i shall thank him the very moment i am through this phase.

The very astonishing aspect of everything i have achieved hitherto a week back lies in the fact that i find 75 percent of it absolutely useless to the ambition i have always had in life.Finally,with things going swift and cool,i have taken a stand on what i intend to make out of the rest of my years.all this long of high quality education and i was so unaware of the secret that life holds,strength that it gives and the excitement and happiness that an achievement could bring.i have begun my work,what i feel is my work.a week of self-analysis and reflection,i have opted out of everything,secluding myself to only one basic objective of shaping things up the way they should be.i have to take control of it before i end up being an another "waste of a human talent"(thats how they put it).it has already stirred the centiments of a few orthodox types when i announced my lack of interest in a job which makes no sense and an mba which again seems useless.comeon,if we could learn physics and maths without any serious teaching,who would need a guide for mba.and in the end,innovations are the pillars of this stream of education,and how could we ever be innovative ones lessons of management are fed in our brains.they teach history..to their best,they teach the present,they dont teach to think,if they say-they do,i could flatly snap-you can't..if you teach to think,then you are creating inhibitions and actually restricting the thoughts.you would say,you are giving it a right path to go on,but then is anyone sure if all the paths have been discovered.
thats about what i am upto,discovery,i have been little late in discovering myself but still i am happy that i did,in just right time.
deepawali awaits us all in less than a week...wishing everyone a very happy diwali and a life full of rock and roll . :).

night of aug 30.

there is no quilt in sight...this cold breeze arouses the hell out of me.so i thought may be it would be best to share somebody's quilt rather than to go and borrow heat from the next fellow's oven.

i called the girl who matches me the best way and leaves the least space for any breeze to enter if we are together.she is too modern,always available and excessively rich.the three perfect ingredients for a casual relationship.later,i fell asleep and thought that she had slept too.then,around 4 in morning she woke me up and asked me to light the fag with the heat of her bosom.i remember her saying,"wake up,light the fag,dont worry about the heat,there is lot underneath here-its burning inside..let smoke not slip out of your lips..the world is smoked out already"..wowww-even plato or kant hadn't said what you just did.the way she moved her lips and blinked her eyes,the browns of her hairs sparkling like a dim moon and the blacks making them look dim.
i was admiring her,noticing every move,capturing every bit of it.i knew,sooner or later it will become a memory too.she wanted me to say the truth always and i always did,that i dont love you..i carelessly uttered,"no crime has been charged,why do i still feel sentenced to death ?"..then  i looked at her while she slowly moved very close towards me,making me think that she wants an another trip,kissed me flirtatiously and picked the pack of cigarette lying on the other corner of bed,lighted two,gave me one.held hers in her left hand,came back to me,moving her lips all around,still smelling like cloves,stopped at my ears,and said," the way you leave your teeth marks behind,farmers could forget how to hack their crops..how could anyone settle with a brute like you..just that i did."

I didnt know if that was a compliment or a gesture to seduce,but whatever it was,i felt those moments.the feeling was very similar to the feeling of hope on a plateau of death.she had taught me the very code of existence.the best way to live is to live.

this is strange september.it ends with a bounty of surprises,always.dussehra went by like a dull monday of march.leo always finds a knack of panick in his everlasting deeds,this time bringing a chaotic new babe in his dramatic old life.far from it,suyash stands still and stubborn,behaving like a multi-headed hydra,bole to kameena no 1.tries to put on a strange dude type attire and tries to become leo,huh.someone gotta come and take my breath away.well a pint always does the rest and ofcourse irresistible kings by itc always adds to the flare of his guilts.special zara chicken and a lollypop then makes it look like a gaga time.i hope the september ends now.cat comes calling and high on spirits with a latest aimcat percentile of around 99,he is all set to drool in the effect of over confidence,yet again.it always eats the future.i get this feeling now-i cannot wait no longer,i know your love will keep me happy-will keep me stronger.i cannot live without you-i know your love is the only one so true.in the end,lying flat,the bundle of expectations and forgotten promises flashes straight up his temples.rahon mein tanha hun saath le chal yun...sang tere safar pura karun.

and then,october would come.baby,come and be my guiding light !

It felt like spring time on this monsoon morning

In the courtyard birds were singing your praise

I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel alright

I carried them with me today

Now,

As I lay me down to sleep

This I pray

That you will hold me dear

Though I'm far away

I'll whisper your name

Into the sky

And i will wake up happy

I wonder why I feel so high

Though I am not above the sorrow

Heavy hearted

Till you call my name

And it sounds like church bells

Or the whistle of a train

On a summer evening

I'll run to meet you

Barefoot barely breathing

As I lay me down to sleep

This I pray

That you will hold me dear

Though I'm far away

I'll whisper your name into the sky

And I will wake up happy

It's not too near for me

Like a flower i need the rain

Though it's not clear to me

Every season has its change

And I will see you

When the sun comes out again.

lay me doon,in the caul caul groon..

lay me doon,in the caul caul groon

whaur afore,monie mair hav gaun

when they come,A wull staun ma groon

staun ma groon,Al nae be afraid

thoughts awe hame,tak awa ma fear

sweat an bluid,hide ma veil awe tears

ains a year,say a prayer faur me

close yir een,an remember me

weirdo

Here is a bit of weirdo from me,please cooperate and understand the indepth meaning of this precious piece of philosophy ;) 

as my thoughts plundered,it got stuck on the very beginning of my life and i thought when does life really begin ? Is it when the first fluttering beats of the primitive heart of a foetus start, or when the child is pushed from the womb into the world? Does it all actually start at the moment of conception when the egg and sperm meet and mix their genetic code together to create a new being? Who can say really... No one knows because,no one is sure of when life truely begins.I'm not a scientist, a theologist, or even a doctor.But,I have thought about when life truely began.

now here is why i wrote all that,

its cold here.its always raining and i am stuck with ups and downs in body temperature,frequent return of cough,cold and the ultimate effect of being sick,being soporific 24 hrs a day.so whenever i lay back,i do innovative things,basically in the field of philosophy.now the important point is,what could i be if i was left free at the age of 7 in order to discover my own elixir and where would i be now,at the age of 21 ? i have figured out that i could be a wanderer with the least of clothing somewhere in north eastern part of russia or in the forests of central africa,drinking the nile water and living on natural fruits and leaves as my food.very realistically speaking,its too difficult to imagine these kind of weird things in life,it requires an immense drill,understanding of ones self and a hell lot of logical ability ;) , ciao.

Relaxed and Happy :)

AIMCAT 1014                                                                    PAPER CODE : 111

No of questions : 70 (20+30+20)

SECTION 1(quants)        SECTION 2(verbal)         SECTION 3(DI)

no of q's :20                      no of q's : 30                       no of q's : 20

attempted = 15                attempted = 22                  attempted = 14

correct = 12                      correct = 19                        correct = 12

marks = 12*4-3=45        marks = 19*4-3=73          marks = 12*4-2=46

max marks = 80              max marks = 120              max marks = 80

total marks = 45+73+46=164

max marks = 280

i just love preparing these reports,but only when its good.as a matter of fact,i always struggled performing in these mock cats.its relieving and certainly quite a booster in view of the cat coming soon.basically,i feel good :)

El Dorado

wouldn't the wheel of fortune for a man take a steep roller coaster turn if he found the treasure,a place which still naps in the discreet jungle of backwardness and if that man lives with the potential of making a change and turning the lives.the El Dorado is Patna,uncharted-unfathomed ,urging for the revival of an extraordinary beauty it held hetherto a century ago.excuse me,because bill gates has lived his time,ambani is no more and i cant notice anyone else as powerful or as entrepreneurial so that to make such big a discovery and at the same time,more importantly to comprehend such a potential.the change requires 2 things:belief and self-belief.lets wait for the one i am talking about.if he succeeds,everyone certainly will know it.

my diary.

its not even dawn.dont know why,but i have fallen a prey to believe in omen's and stars.and a shooting star whom i saw told me everything i needed to know.among many directions that were enforced upon me,it also told something quite unexpected:it sugggested never to fall in love if i already am in love(infact u cant).before it disappeared in a universe of its own,i could see a dazzling smile and a note saying,'see ya.'

its a common weakness i suffer from,the instinct of feeling embarrassed because of the nudiustertian moments of my life and then for a fraction of a fraction i do pine about the appurtenances i have failed to set store by.i should subvert.a sort of presentiment or rather prescience is always trying to indicate the impending walkaway's.even when i slip,its because of the heterogeneity between me and my own silhouette and therefore a precised flip-flop is imperative to stock me up and to help myself get rid of that miniscule but dangerous temperamental attitude still prevailing somewhere innards.

chennai,mumbai,hyderabad fascinates me and that is when i rise to the potential i hold and everyone holds.an eminent professsor from stockholm schol of economics asked me to name the most over-rated person in my view and less then in an instant i said mr. amitabh bachchan.he asked me to explain,later he agreed after understanding the frivolousness of the nature of work these entertainers do and how ineligible are they for the amount of rewards they walk away with.in the end,they are just entertainers and actually the most selfish people:if selfishness is a virtue of self consciousness and understanding how much you get for how little you do.

i am so sure and confident of dating and having sex with deepika padukone or malaika arora khan or anyone if i make it a point(but sorry,i am in love).the point is even beethoven and tan sen are not known as much as these street dancers are but the good thing is street dancers will always be known as street dancer and a beethoven as a beethoven.i intend to differentiate between an artist and an on sale puppet.none of my business,and i dont want to waste time either.

setting it to an end,i have a steadfast perspicacity about being nothing more than i would deserve and till i am,to keep trying and sticking to the person i want to be and on my own conditions.ofcourse,i cannot ever compromise for anything less than i should and neither would i ever fall to the wonders of money.in the end-we make it,not that it makes us.

the real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes,but in having a new vision.if someone insists i am the best,be it so because in the end it doesnt even matter.and most of them think he thinks he is a hero and be that so too because even that doesnt even matter.

in lieu of the black swan.

the black swan is a wonderful work gripping the interest all through the journey.in a very generous fashion,the writer keeps talking about anti-knowledge and after hurting every single principle of today,he humbly apologises.wow!

one very important aspecty of my life in these days of utter excitement has been an immense urge of quickly turning myself into an entrepreneur.i have the capital,am full of ideas and a lot of energy,all thats needed is a breakpoint where i could quickly shift from current scheme of things to the planned future i have in mind.as of now,i have to chose between a job and an mba and then a job.both the options are out of interest as far as my temparament to work is concerned.

more importantly,the basic ethical values i had suddenly seems to be transforming into a better approach,which might be little selfish,harsh and minutely wrong,but thats perfect for what i want to be.i learned it,i did that from an ex-girlfriend of mine.time to proceed.ciao.bye.

as i walk the lonely road,away from home i think that it is an obvious manifestation of the universe that brings me to this strange point of time where i find an obscure sense of humour pulsating through my nerves and gripping the feelings as if i was non-existent.falling back to the memories of past,it hurts badly.a guy and a girl have an equation of a typical wave kind where the dual nature of both has to be understood in an exact way to eventually result in a charismatic relationship.

someone asked me what is success to me,i was wordless,perhaps because the question was so complicated and i thought wow,what answer do i say.it would either take a whole volume of 1000 pages to describe how i think of that magical word or i could just say,its just abt being successful,look at shahrukh khan,bill gates,barack obama,warren buffet,countries like india,us..these are all what success is.may be,achieveing the dreams we make while we are awake,the plans we pile while being romantic,the charity we plan while feeling disgust at the grave social issues,all these when achieved would make anyone a success.

see ya.bye.:).

comeon,let it go !

i recall a woman once advising me not to be a womaniser..and then i can also remember this pretty woman inflicting on me the mistakes she did..i could absorb to an extent but later i knew that she had fallen in love with my alterego.as strange as i am and just opposite to the me in general,there is a consciousness of guilt i have about the mistakes that has happened.even when i have been literally out of my senses,i have always thought twice before doing things.i am proud of the steps that i took and the way i have come so far.its complicated,there are embarrassing momentsa but i am proud that i always could let it go.

i was listening to this richard marx song which i happened to hear from my sis's phone..i could retain a few lines which i simply loved and have been humming them for over a week now.

wherever you go

whatever you do
i will be right here

waiting for you ...

whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here

waiting for you.

ciao when i see u.

all of 22

like always,it doesnt feel very exciting to actually have reached another june 24th.this day has to be respected by me for the least,after all this was when god gifted me with a real life in a real world(as far as i know).i miss noone,i strongly feel that i have turned very self centred,far more than how i was just an year ago.i havent picked many calls,hated the birthday messages,i want a real year this time and i am going to strongly ignore everything fake.

as of my love,only a few persons actually belong to that word,the ones who never change and who will never change,dad and mom-i love you both and i promise i will make dad feel how he thinks i should be,distance he wants me to travel,heights he wants me to see at,and a good person he expects of me and mom,i just love you,as unconditionally as you love me.

chelsea,csk and cute.

this should start with me turning into a football club follower.oh yeah,even though i always had a big crush on the game and always felt like a footballer in those good old days but still never did i ever try to know what the best in this business are upto..and more importantly these guys would come up with discussions containing complete alien stuff.as it seemed to me..and in a coffee shop or a restaurant or any other regular hangout i would just nod my head on every single point and say "oh yeah..fuck man..that was great"..it is funny.but now things are changing because i am a chelsea fan.so,next time when the topic comes i m going to speak all about chelsea and support it with all i have mugged up in a last couple of days :P.few of the important faces and wonderful footballers the team has are frank lampard,anderson luis de souza popular as "deco",ashley cole,michael ballack,john terry,peter cech and many more loved by different people at different times.

this apart,may 22nd was my little cute sis's birthday.even though she was not very happy because of not so good performance in her 12th boards but still she remains the sweetest girl with the cutest dimples :).happy birthday cute.

something is wrong with this 20-20 mode of cricket.teams which were better are out and the ones noone expected are into the finals.yesterday,i really felt pity for the CSK  as they lost in a mach where they were supposed to win.but thats the nature of the game and as a follower of chennai i do feel little upset and i am left with hardly any interest to watch the finals.even then if i was asked to pick my tem out of the two,the deccan chargers and the royal challengers,i will go with the royals.first because,i m more close to bangalore than to hyderabad and also because i find them with relatively few supporters.go bangalore,go.

its a sunday and i have a few things to do.among others,the most important is to go out and have fun :).

election '09 : to,by and for the people,wow !

its better to start with the prominent losers.there was such a sense of relief as me and mom saw the results unfold itself.mom was so damn excited after knowing that both the wife and mother of pappu yadav(arguably a criminal) had lost from supaul and purnea respectively.ram vilas paswan suffered a shock defeat from hajipur,the seat which had returned him triumphant 7 times earlier.lalu prasad yadav lost from pataliputra but won from saran.the good news is he has got a taste of the contemporary era and i just hope he understands that bihar is up for change,change in the form of development and positive agendas.

i was in bangalore with mom,sis and few other people and i had this chance of celebrating the success of election.i was seriously overwhelmed by the results,both of my native state bihar and india as a whole.

i am more than pleased to see congress upsurging in such a crucial time,a time when india needs to be lead,we need a party to balance the principle of india as a secular state,to work in tandem with the beauty india holds,the respect to farmers,boost to entrepreneurship,dissemination of education and few more are among the facts that make congress an obvious choice if i had voted.i would certainly try to vote in the next elections,thats because when i thought about the contributions leadership can make i did feel that embarrassment of supporting and still not participating,of being foolish,dull and over-confident.

now that its all decided and the power of people proved,there are a certain grave concerns the leaders should immediately turn there heads to.the decisive electoral mandate is good for the aam admi,more so taking the battered economy in sight.next,manmohan singh should quickly react to the pak nuclear stock-pile.pakistan is a country of fools and they are always a threat,a small damage to our country is far more precious than the destruction of whole pakistan.u get the point,i hope.oh lord,leave the issue of external securities,this nation of maniacs are such a threat to the beauty of indian daily livelihood,it shall be an achievent forever if upa puts pakistan on its knees forever.that is a little dreamy,though.among certain other basic problems,anaerobic grow of naxalites is yet another matter of concern.the government in its last term has been wuite lazy about this serious pan-indian threat.the bottomline is.india has to emerge into the ranks of the most successful nations and at the same time we have to hold back the secular,socialist,democratic,republic-that india is.

@ me.

the morning spent sleeping and the noon spent sleeping and the evening spent sleeping and the night spent thinking.thinking is something that comes naturally to most people in this greatly evolving world.people tend to think depending on how things are going,in my case its a double headed situation.on one hand,life is quite cool and on the other nothing looks amusing.i have a strange sense of making my own life very complicated at times,now thats what thinking can cause.i think about things which shouldn't matter if you were a dude,but sadly i dont consider myself as one.i am a simple and a normal lad but am a fellow friend of some dudes and that leads me to think like - what the HELL ! i often end up smiling when i force myself to walk through the memories of people who love me beyond everything.there are some in everyone's life who always care,who always want you to be happy and u dont know but they wouldn't even blink in doing anything for you,even dying...responsibility that i hold is to never let any such people down.i am supposed to be performing rather than celebrating your victory.but i was the happiest to know that you had made it happen,only a few can achieve exactly what they want.

as of me,the best way to describe how i feel about you could be the fact that world defies love,love defies death,death defies defiance.

chennai is a mindscape.

i feel pretty good on knowing that the economic crisis has started to wrap up,i feel good because i had reasoned infront of many,many being educated men and women far much older than me,i had argued with a positive sense of perception that i can see april being the breakpoint.obviously,once the world economy ragains full fledged growth,india's recovery will be much faster and steeper than the rest of the world.and by the way,why is it that people always ignore the positive just because some eonomic news is negative.now as a matter of fact,what really makes me write now is a thought which struck my mind while having tea at 5 in the morning..

can development really be justified at the cost of our heritage..as a matter of fact,preserving our heritage is a significant step forward in developing our society,as opposed to developing a particular plot.yet some of india's top municipal authorities seem to think heritage gets in the way of development.to turn chennai into a city with smile,we need to go much beyond the fiscal framework.we,the people,want not just comfortable living and working conditions,but an enriching life in our leisure time,a surfeit of choices,night-life,day-life,options should be open all times.the attraction of a "great" city-new york,sydney,london,paris,san francisco and even new delhi lies in the fact that these choices exist.people dont have to adhere to particular regional languages or ancient customs,these cities are open to all and in everyway.

i would be glad to see chennai turning into he city which defines southern world,i say that,in full knowledge of the fact that this place has the potential-geographically(except climate) as well as economically,to be so. 

mainstream and the muslims.

One of the frequent opinions expressed in India is that ‘Muslims must join the mainstream’. It is seldom explained what ‘mainstream’ is though. Is it undiluted, constantly verifiable patriotism and blind loyalty to India? Hindus in their millions will not pass such a test or else we wouldn’t be having so much negative opinions expressed on India. Or is that one religion is mainstream and not others? If it were ‘common laws’ that will mean ‘mainstream’ , then how many sub sects of Hinduism will agree to join it? So defining what is ‘mainstream’ is riven with problems. 

But there is one mainstream about which no one will have a quarrel. It is ‘education’. As a perennial mainstream it can bear everyone to safe and rational havens. When a dominant rule ends people associated with it, lose their privileges and do become alienated. Anglo-Indians are a case in proof. Muslims too have felt disowned and stranded. They decided the ‘system’ was against them and withdrew into ghettos. It is a measure of India’s success as a democracy that Muslims have now identified ‘education’ as a beneficial mainstream. There is growing evidence for those who will care to look. 

Take Kashmir. You cannot but be struck by the facility with which even nominal graduates from there communicate while those from other states struggle. Kashmir’s educational institutions turn out numerous competent professionals. During the years of strife many Muslim parents sent their children to Bangalore, Pune and other cities so that their education was not impaired. It is another piece of sociology that their experiences in ‘India’ travelled back to Kashmir and convinced everyone where their best interests lay. Kerala of which a quarter are Muslims has the highest educational achievements in India. Again at least three of India’s knowledge companies --Wipro, Cipla and Wockhardt-- are led by highly educated Muslims. Not to mention of course, a certain gentleman named A P J Abdul Kalaam. 

Confirming this trend is a captivating story in the Hindu on Aug 22,2003. Jyoti Punwani writing on ‘Changing face of Pune Schools’ reports on the work of P A Inamdar who has turned the Anglo Urdu High School in Pune into an assembly line of high achievers. This year’s high school topper is Wajeda Karigar --a child of the slums who had to wake up at 4.30am to get some undisturbed peace for her studies. She is the ‘fifth in an unbroken line of Board toppers from the same institution’, of whom four were girls, three of whom wear burquas. They also stood first among all girls in Maharashtra. 

How does Inamdar do it? He urges Muslims to shed their persecution complex. He points out that in India one can overcome all odds as Ambedkar did to vault prejudice, persecution and poverty. He then goes about picking the promising ones and adds them to his Merit List, which then receives special coaching and encouragement. This might seem exlcusivist but remember he is trying to create success stories who will become role models. One of the success girls has persuaded her poor parents to turn down a marriage offer because she wants to graduate in medicine first. 

Inamdar has convinced Muslims that this education mainstream is a fair and equal home for all those arrive at it. He has proof that it is one stream that will merge all Indians: “teachers from RSS-run schools have not only come whenever invited, but have also taught his students diligently.” 

dear AS,

i have wanted to write since april 1st but a preoccupied mind cant work on many things at once.in the chimerical atmosphere of the sea shore here,it seemes to become far from clear where fact ends and fiction begins-or vice versa.i was hachuring,not to indicate the slopes in the shore but to try to figure out what the sea tells about my destiny,was trying to understand the language of nature(alchemist:paulo coelho).i was trying to fight on the behalf of my alter-ego about what really matters:against nescience,against inadvertance,against the supposition that anything is anything else.actually,that would be too much to write or express,much enough to the capability of my english diction for now,so i better leave it.

as it is,i have been spending money as if they were growing on trees and now when i feel poor , i come to the rescue of my best friend,this blog :).well i would like to be very frank,i just miss AS so much that for the last couple of weeks i have been talking to myself imagining her responding.she sill makes sense to me,everything about her is intact in thoughts,every seond,unswerving and absolute.if i had to answer a question,whom do i love the most-i would say:AS.if someone asks what is she? i would say life.and if asked,who is she,i would say love.beyond the impossibilities and the complications,i will love her forever.

now coming to a very interesting dinner we had(me and a friend of mine),it excites me.we had rabbit masala,oh yeah,i ate rabbit and he did too.we went to the ascendas in it highway here and were told that it tastes good,so we ordered and tried it.as a suggestion,i will say never try it:firstly,because rabbits are more beautiful when alive-actually everything is and secondly,they dont taste as good as a chicken does.

i have developed a fascination to come up with strange ideas and i see that all those around never reject any of them.so i am afraid,i might turn a proud guy soon,please interrupt me.will sleep for now,eyes are irritating and even i feel little soporific,perhaps because of the weather now.good night.

random thoughts and fav song.

this is probably the best way i could have described what i fell the most and most of the times.even when life has gifted a lot,there is someone missed so very much-every moment, that i at times realise,if given a chance i could exchange it for my life itself.but to move on,to hope and to work,to dream and to try and achieve makes me smile every time i think of you.you are so very special that even now,after days and days,i can think of the only one who could make me smile and make me cry.once again i want to move on because i know there is someone waiting for me too.i love you forever.:).

MBA-up next.

i guess,i m done with the rest of my anxieties.i feel like advertising all my feelings,its different that folks say,never advertise them because there are no buyers.who cares,i just want to unleash,to let go,to scream,to jump.its a certainty and it has proved it.it is something that reflects trough it and still it prevents the it within it from surfacing on it or even around it.it is me.
shapes are made out of so many given conditions,even more limitations,but which good thing comes like a swift breeze or say a zephyr,obviously none.everything has to be a roller-coaster type,from the beginning to the middle and then the end.it is awesome.it is crazy.it is stereotype.
hoping never to requiem for a lost dream.:).

this much...

someone asked me once,how much i could love someone,and i couldn't reply.but,now i have an answer.i can love this much..and even more.

I love you enough to fight for you,
compromise for you and sacrifice myself for you,if need be.

Enough to miss you incredibly when
we're apart,no matter what length of
time it's for and regardless of the distance.

Enough to believe in our relationship,
to stand by it through the worse
of times,to have faith in our
strength as a couple,and to never
give up on us.

Enough to spend the rest of my life
with you,be there for you when you
need or want me,and never,ever want to leave you or live without you.

I love you this much.

london,is good.:).

now this is how i reached london,from delhi via chennai.the journey has been absolutely awesome.and obviously unbelievable too.

brb..

i wonder how i dreamt...

this is a little poem i penned while sitting idol on a desk.i tried to convince my friends around to atleast have a glance,but noone was interested :(.

finally,my blog jindabaad :)

I wonder how i dreamt,Dont know who played on.
Saw the doom approaching,Knew that i was gone.
I thought of many years,I played-I learnt-I won.
Noticed a burning paper,and felt the touch of dawn.

Fantasies were changing,and so was my whole world.
Was weaving broken pieces,the story is forgone.
It turned to be a sunday,was standing on the shore.
the sea was looking too pretty,and the infinity within was known.

i have learned to make it work,whatever be the odds..
certainly times are changing,I will try to be on top.... :) :)

delhi-6.

i expected atleast some sort of entertainment from delhi-6.in my view, its a dabba(an empty bottle) movie.it seems the RDB guy,rakeysh mehra,has finally succumbed to the credo of the bollywodian movement-that is to make a movie just for the sake of it.trying to be iconoclastic,he has become stupid.the movie revolving around a kala bandar issue,and the approach is even more childish.people said that the movie weaves itself into the influx of hindu-muslim problems and thematically copies swades(shahrukh khan-ashutosh g movie).i thought,wow,its gonna be a great night.thank god,i was with a sweet heart,didnt get bored.
:).

its been a good time.

WOW,it has been such an exciting week.while i have been busy sleeping,there has been a heavy downpour of pretty fascinating news.its such a wonderful thing to be dreaming and actually notice them turn true after you wake up,that itself could be a dream of many :).haha(i am obviously happy).6th of march,i shall be leaving for home,9th is dad-mom's 25th anniversary and 11th is holi.i just hope that i survive the attendance issues of my sick college :).surprisingly,it is among one of the better in the country,may be because of the campus or the placements or the professors,but i swear,it cant be for the life here.thank god,i have only a few months to be spent here.nevertheless,friends and girls here have left an impact on my life,indelible indeed.
even though there were ample warnings that something was amiss,even long before the situation collapsed,i dont understand why the hell to decry and point at others.i see something approaching me and the best part is that it is travelling along the samy way on which lies my destination.i have started to believe in the philosophy of god and the game of destiny.good times follow bad ones and the bad ones follow the good and so on.at times good follow the good and bad follow the bad,depends.
as of now,i am quite satisfied and very cheerful.bingo :).

a toast to the gem !

this month has been stereotypes,melodrama in this state lead most of the students into a chaotic situation.in my point of view,the issue was absolutely a political framework.these people wish the lankans to stop destroying the LTTE,because they are tamils.well,as a matter of fact or rather,in birds eye view,its a nonsensical stand they are trying to take.information shows they are tamils.

these apart,feb 2 was the birthday of my lovely sister dear.its been a fantastic year for her.having got an offer from a leading production house in india with pretty alluring perks,she definitely couldnt wish for more.but she still does,surprisingly.she is an absolute paragon of virtues.the beauty and the feminity alongwith that kind of zeal to get only what you want is so damn rare.i look upto her and i did miss her on the feb 2.

i am evidently sarcastic and pluralistic in my approach for doing exactly what i have always wished for.this is so damn effusive in its own aspects that at times i develop a kind of complex which makes me dwindle in the hopes and for the charms.this connects to the life a couple of years forth,the quality and the girl who would walk along my side.

fortunately,god had blessed me when i was born and the god let mom and dad take his place there on.these are the times where i always wish that everyone who has been able to know me gets a chance to feel happy.happiness itself is a virtue,indeed.

THE YEAR IS GONNA BE MINE.

WELL,ITS 4:30 IN THE MORNING,AS I NOTICE MY CAPS LOCK TO BE ON AND DECIDE TO LET IT BE,RAREST OF THOUGHTS AND THE MOST UNIQUE,MOSTLY ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS STIR MY CALM HEAD AND ONCE AGAIN,MAKES ME BELIEVE HOW LONELY EVERYONE IS,NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW YOU.INSTANTLY I HAVE DECIDED TO TURN MY TABLE LAMP ON AND BURN A STICK FILLED WITH A SUBSTANCE WHICH LATER TURNS INTO WHITE ASH AND PUT IT IN MY LIPS.THE FEEL OF MY DEAR FRIEND IS NO DOUBT,WORTH FEELING, BUT THE THOUGHT OF LOSING HEALTH AND THUS LOSING PRECIOUS YEARS AND HENCE SOME LOVELY MOMENTS AHEAD DOES TIE ME BACK.

THESE APART,I WAS ANNOYED,ANGRY AND ASHAMED OF THE COMMUNITY OF BOYS.THIS GUY,AN IDIOT MAKES A PORN CLIP OF HIS GIRL-FRIEND(MAY BE HE HASN'T) AND NOW,I HEAR,AFTER ABOUT AN YEAR IT IS STARTING TO GET CIRCULATED.WHAT A SHAME,ONE WHO CANT PROTECT HIMSELF SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO DO ANY WONDERS.HAD I SEEN HIM WHEN I SAW THE CLIP,I WOULD HAVE SLAPPED HIM.SOME PEOPLE ARE REAL SHITS.

OH FORGET IT,NOW,AS I AM SUPPOSED TO BE IN HOME ON MY LOVELY DAD AND MOM'S 25TH ANNIVERSARY I CANT WAIT FOR IT TO BE MARCH 9.25TH,AND STILL SO YOUNG,SUCH A SUCCESS,SUCH A TIME OF CELEBRATION,A TIME TO DANCE AND A TIME TO SHOUT,LOVE YOU DAD,LOVE YOU MAA.WOW.

I HAVE TO BECOME AN ENTREPRENEUR AND SO HAVE TO BE IN A GOOD B-SCHOOL,THIS IS SOMETHING WHICH KEEPS ME CONFUSED,ALWAYS.I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY DREAM AS MUCH AS I DONT WANT TO LOSE LIFE.I AM NOT GOING TO TAK ANY JOB,I HAVE DECIDED.I HAVE TO FOLLOW THE WAY WHICH IS SO CLEAR IN MY MIND.THERE SHOULD NOT BE ANYTHING AS A REASON FOR MY NOT ACHIEVING IT OR AS AN EXCUSE FOR NOT DOING THAT WELL.POTENTIALS ARE ONLY SO WHEN THEY ARE USED AND THE USE OF IT BRINGS SMILE OF THE LOST CHILDHOOD.I WANT THAT BACK.I HAVE THE POTENTIAL.

HMMM..ON A PHILOSOPHICAL NOTE,IT IS AS SIMPLE AS A FRACTION OF SECOND.NOTHING COMES BACK,ONCE GONE.NOTHING WOULD GO UNLESS YOU LET IT.OH,DEEP THOUGHTS,HMMM,BUT,THIS YEAR IS GONNA PASS IN A THICK,AM SURE.

sth interesting and obvsly xtrmly innovative : I HAVE LEARNED..

its been a big deal,life,i mean. i've learned that you cannot make someone love you.all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.i've learned that no matter how much i care,some people are just assholes.i've learned that it takes days to build up trust,and it only takes suspicion,not proof,to destroy it. i've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes or may be fifteen months or so.after that,you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.i've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others-they are more screwed up than you think. i've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. i've learned that we are responsible for what we do,unless we're celebrities.hard to believe,but tough shit.:).

makar sankranti !

every 14th of jan,some festival comes,we eat dahi and chura along with tilkut etc,we worship and we cannot start the day without taking bath.now that,i had nothing to follow out of all those,i kept wondering why is this day special.neverthelss,i had a little idea about makar sankranti,but i obviosly didnt know why jan 14th.when i asked few of my dear friends,i got a very expected response of "kya pata yaar".
after doing a further exploration on the subject i have known more than a little,may be as much as one should know,or as much as is available.sankranti means transmigration of sun from one rashi(in hindu mythology) to the other.this happens 12 times in an year.jan 14th is called makar sankranti and is of special importance because of transition of sun from dhanu rashi to the makar rashi,hence the name.the festival takes place around 21 days after the tropical winter solstice and marks the beginning of gradual increase in the duration of day.ths festival signifies the beginning of harvest season for the farmers of indian sub-continent.the day on which the sun begins its journey north wards is referred to as makar sankranti.it is indeed one of the most auspicios festivals of india and is celebrated across the country using various names.
so cheerss and celebrate it,reasons are enough.happy sankranti ! :)

i blog only because it makes sense to speak what you feel.anyways i dont care much.for sure,i am not wasting even a second when i write and even if i do i cant find a better way to spend my idol moments.why the heck do i have to clarify,its a diary,a personal diary,like a diary.

india is writhing ..

A year ago a seemingly unstoppable global juggernaut, the once-confident India is now reeling from a perfect storm of a corporate IT scandal, the Mumbai attacks and economic slowdown.
Suddenly the talk is not of easy returns, unending high growth, or "India arrives". The chatter is increasingly of risk.
All these events have added to a sense of more risk in India.There is a squirrel attitude. The winter could be long and cold.
Satyam Computer Chairman Ramalinga Raju quit on Wednesday in India's biggest corporate scandal in memory, after revealing profits had been falsely inflated for years. It has been called India's "Enron", raising suspicion there could be other skeletons in the closet of India's corporate boom.It all came at the wrong moment for India, a combination of problems that punched a hole in the self-confidence -- some say cockiness -- of executives, politicians and middle-classes.
Only in 2007, India wallowed in success. Tata Steel made a $13 billion bid for Corus, the country's biggest foreign buy. A trillion-dollar economy grew at nearly 9 percent. India won its first major international cricket cup in 25 years.i am too bullish about India in the long term.
But these new insecurities may impact on the economy, where there are signs investors are reeling back from ambitious plans, to politics, where growing insecurity among voters could add to the unpredictability of general elections due by early May.
Take politics. The Congress-led coalition government is battling the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party. The insecurity bodes badly for Congress in its hopes to retain power.
But that insecurity could push voters to a "third front", smaller regional parties with charismatic but controversial leaders - like "Queen of Dalits" Mayawati - that send shivers down many investors.
Anyone in power in India has to be worried because Indians walk on very thin ice.There is no social security, job security. A third force may be able to take advantage of this insecurity.The decision of Tata Motors to pull out of West Bengal state in October after farmer protests against a factory for its low cost Nano, billed the world's cheapest car, also shocked India.
For all of India's optimism, it was a reminder that the country of sprouting shopping malls still must deal with the more than two-thirds of Indians who live on less than a dollar a day.

real nuts..

a friend is one who knows me and loves me the same.ohhhoo..so i am cast away.i was talking with this friend,as we think of each other.she begun the hot shot interaction pointing at my dress contrast and i was so furious that i lead it to porno :).she was furious too and as usual sobriqueted me to be the biggest idiot ever born.but cute.why is it that most of the pretty sexy girls like chocolate flavours and the good one's mostly vanillla or strawberry.i dont care about why dont i manage to look as funny as the actors of contemporary cinema,one thing is assured,dare you dress in cinema style,everyone is gonna stare at you and laugh then.comeon babes,there is a difference between us and them.anyways i thought on something,as little as i could gather from that hot shot conversation.i am gonna work out because may be the female awaiting me be having a demand of rigid six or 8 or 16 pack,hehehe.most of them seems to be wanting that,dont worry folks,i shall oblige.why,did i not have them now,how many of you have checked,better check it out... :) :)

new year begins ..

when it began my phone lost its network.15 minutes later i got it back,and then calls were only coming,they were not going.jan 1st is maa's birthday and she called up assuming that i had forgotten :(.but she is the best mom one could ask for.:).i wish everything,every part of my life,every action of me,every achievement i make brings smile to her.i can do anything for my sweetest mom.
now,on jan 1st i was in chennai.i was at adyar.